


The Titans Kuroko Kills (Are Mostly Jerks Anyway): A Sexual Love Story

by LoverSnapper



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Titans, Anal Sex, Crossover, Deliberate Badfic, Friendship/Love, Helicopters, Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, Mentions of Nostril Sex, Must Read, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Presumed Dead, Smut, Spelunking, Starfish - Freeform, Swords, Young Love, long-lost friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 04:58:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2336126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoverSnapper/pseuds/LoverSnapper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko and Kagami both have secrets. One secret they keep from everyone is that they are in LOVE with each other. But in a world where monsters roam the earth and the dead may not be dead, can love really survive?</p>
<p>Smut! Titans! Feelings! Secret Special Powers! Sex!</p>
<p>(R&R PLEASE. YAOI LEMON, DLDR.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Titans Kuroko Kills (Are Mostly Jerks Anyway): A Sexual Love Story

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Titans That Kuroko Kills](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2316251) by Anonymous. 



> I am a Japanese speaker (my teacher sucks, though, LOL. I learn more from anime than I do from her) so I put a lot of Japanese terms in this fic to be more athentic. If you're having trouble with any of them, try looking it up here: [at this kawaii link](http://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/104465.html?thread=521860369#cmt521860369). (I wasnt the one who originally asked for help, but I used it anyway. Sue me if u don't like it!)

WHOOOSH went the Kuroko no blade as it swept through the air and cut through the nape of the titan.

The other titans looked about in befuddlement, but Kuroko was nowhere to be found.

“Sugoi” whispered Kagami, his sempai, who was watching from the nearby tree.

Kuroko had a secret, a very special power. Ever since the day when the baka titans had omnomed Kuroko's parents right in front of his very orbs, Kuroko had had a very special power. Kuroko's special power was a power no one in the Military Academy had had. Because his power was so special, Kuroko felt the need the need to keep it a secret. Kagami was always sad that his dear ai had to keep his special power a secret, but he understood that such a special power had to be kept secret. (Kagami had his own special secret power, so he understood the need to keep special powers secret.)

The secret power was this: Kuroko was invisible to titans. Even when he swept his blade right under their noses or around their necks, or used it to give the really ugly hairy titans a shave, none of the titans ever saw Kuroko coming.

It was so, so sugoi, and it made Kaami have pants-feelings every single time he saw it. EVen now, Kuroko was bashing down all the temes, striking left and wright with his beautiful Kuroko no blade. It was totally suzushi.

(Kagami liked being a human because only humans got pants feelings. Titans had neither pants nor feelings—or penises, for that matter—so pants-feeling weren't really on the menu for them. The only thing on the menu for titans was humans, and those only gave titans mouth-feelings, which were also kind of erotic in a way, but nowear near as grate as pants feeling.)

“Arigato for beating down those titans, Kuroko-sempai!” Cried Kagami excitedly. One of the titans Kuroko had just killed was his second cousin, but that was cool—the bastard had owed him money anyway.

“Gomenasai,” Kuroko said quietly. “It took me longer than I had hoped.”

“Aishiteru” said Kagami fondly. “Wanna do bouji?”

“Not here, Kagami-chan” Kuroko said with his shyness. “I am covered in blood, and we don't have lube.”

“We could use the blood for lube?” Kagami asked hopefully.

“Let's go back to the dorms before we do bouji,” Kuroko said.

“Fine” pouted Kagami. “But then hayaku shite, ochibi! I have huge pants-feeling right now.”

“Okay” said Kuroko “lets go”

 

Kuroko an Kagami were only cadets in training, but because they were both so good at titan killing they were allowed to do solo missions outside the wall. When hey came back everyone congratulated them, but they didn't really care because all they wanted was a chance to be alone and do bouji.

When they finally got back to their private dorm, Kagami said “Okay, Kuroko-sensei, now's the time. Let's do Bouji.”

“Okay, Kagama-sama, said Kuroko. He lay down on the be with his cute pink quivering starfish pointed up towards the sealing.

Kagami pulled the starfish offf his buttcrack—how had that thing gotten out of its tank again?-- and gasped at the newly revealed site of Kuroko's tight anus. 

“Irete koibito” gasped Kuroko. “Atashi no naka ni, Kagami-taicho.”

“Chikara wo nuite, aho...” gasped Kagami, and went spelunking.

Each moaned as Kagami's expedition began, Kagami with a moan of delight, Kuroko with a moan of frustration.

“Stop exploring caves and start penetrating my anus!” Kuroko cried.

“sorry sorry” said Kagami. It took him a few minutes to get his spelunking gear off, but once he was naked he spread lube on his human genitalia and inserted his penis into Kuroko's rectum.

“hontou no watashi wo miseru yo, Kuroko-shichou,” Kagami said as he pressed further inside of Kuroko. With one hand, he pinched Kuroko's left nipple.

“watashi wo sawaru na, Kagami-neko” Kuroko said in arousal.

“otearai wa doko desuka, Kurocchi? Asked Kagami as he touched his tongue to Kutoko's right nipple.

“Anywhere except the starfish tank,” replied Kuroko, moaning again.

Kgami continued to plunge in and out of Kuroko while he stroked the Kuroko no blade. (The blade was his penis. It was also invisible. All parts of Kuroko were invisible to Kagami when they had sex, because sex made Kuroko's titan-invisibilty kick in and Kagami was a secret titan. It was confusing, and once Kagami had accidentally put his penis in Kuroko's nostril instead of his anus, but mostly they managed.) Finally, he orgasmed white sperm inside Kuroko's anal passage. A few moments later, Kuroko responded by orgasming invisible sperm onto both their chests and also the rather disgusted starfish.

Once they stopped sexing and Kagami could see his koi again, he noticed Kuroko was crying. “What's wrong, my Kuroko-yamete?”

“Kokoro no naka ni aoki honoo ga moeteruzo against the titans.” sobbed Kuroko “because they killed my parents and also my best friends. I only wish my childhood friends could be here today to see the happiness I've found with a human like you.”

Feeling guilty about his secret, Kagami moved to wipe his precious koneko's tears away. 

Suddenly the door burst open, splintering at the hinges.

“Sup bitches!!!” yelled Momoi, bursting through the busted door.

“Yo!” Aomine added helpfully.

“My friends,” Kuroko shrieked! “I am so sugoi!”

“Moshi Moshi,” Aomine said lovingly, before noticing Kuroko's state. “Eek, man, put some pants on!”

“Whoa!” Yelped Momoi! “Naked Kuroko.”

Kuroko didn't even care about his nudity, though. He embraces both his childhood friends in the buff, ululating in joy. And watching from the bed, Kagami finally understands the meaning of jealousy.

The starfish wriggles in sympathy, and begins the long arduous journey to re-conceal Kuroko's anal passage.


End file.
